Taking it to the Grave

Taking it to the Grave

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Do you ever feel a tingly sensation when you think someone may be lying to you? Well, your body might be trying to tell you something. At least one study found 3 in 5 people lie during a 10-minute conversation. Worse still, most people don’t just lie once – they lie two to three times over the same period.

If most people lie, whom can you really trust with your secrets?

We surveyed over 1,000 Americans about the secrets they are most and least likely to keep and whether it’s OK to lie in certain situations. We then took this information and examined it by gender, political affiliation, and education level. Continue reading to see which secrets Americans are willing to reveal – and which ones they’d rather take to the grave.

Familiar Admissions

Under the veil of anonymity, we asked Americans to share some of their deepest secrets. Of their responses, we identified the top 10 occurring words.

The most frequently used word to describe America’s most kept secrets? “Cheat.” For some people that may mean cheating on a diet or even on an important test – but for others, it may indicate infidelity. Some experts suggest that as many as 1 in 4 men cheat over the course of their lifetime, while more than 1 in 10 women do the same.

Other commonly used words to describe the most confidential truths of Americans included “lied,” “stole,” and “friend.” Whatever their confessions alluded to, research shows that when people lie, the brain can become desensitized to dishonesty, making lying feel more and more natural over time.  

Dishonest Tendencies

George Washington may be famously thought to have said he couldn’t tell a lie – but there aren’t too many people who can get away with a quote like that. Lying may simply be a part of human nature, which means, like it or not, we’ve all lied once or twice.

Our survey found more than 4 in 5 people felt it was OK to tell a lie under certain circumstances. Whether it’s lying about how old you are or how good your partner looks in a new outfit, sometimes it’s easier to blur the truth when we think it doesn’t hurt to lie or when we want to spare someone’s feelings.

While nearly 3 in 4 people believed white lies were sometimes appropriate, roughly 88 percent said it was never OK to lie under oath – and for a good reason. Lying under oath in a court of law is considered a criminal act.

Secrets From Someone

Men and women fell into different categories when it came to keeping a secret from someone. While men tend to withhold the whole truth more often (and when it’s in their best interest), women were found to keep quiet on the whole truth most often when it benefited other people.

When we asked them about secrets they’re keeping from just one person, nearly 40 percent of women and over 44 percent of men admitted to holding a certain truth close to the chest.

But just whom are most Americans lying to? More than 2 in 5 women and nearly half of men are keeping a secret from their significant other, while roughly 1 in 4 people are holding out on a parent. There are some key warning signs to look for if you think your partner may be lying, but repairing that trust is significantly more complicated.

Varying Degrees of Secrecy

It isn’t always easy to keep a secret. Trying to hold in the truth can be exhausting, and it may seem as if all you can think about is coming clean. Still, some of our deepest (and occasionally darkest) secrets are potentially better left untold. These are the secrets Americans would rather keep to themselves than share.

A majority of the secrets people wanted to take to the grave involved illegal activity. While fantasizing about some of these actions can occasionally be an indicator of emotional distress – putting them into action is an entirely different story. Among the most heinous secrets? Bestiality, incest, and murder.

Not all closely kept secrets directly involved respondents, though; some secrets involved other people they knew. On average, Americans ranked keeping the secret of a friend who had an abortion a 5.1 on a scale of 1 to 7. In fact, in some instances, people were more likely to keep the same secret for other people than for themselves. Friends or family members diagnosed with an STD were also ranked a five on the scale, compared to a 4.2 for participants diagnosed with an STD.

Gendered Secrets

Men and women didn’t always agree on the secrets most worth keeping.

There’s no question Americans with mental disorders face stigmas every day – but experts suggest men may be more sensitive to the misconceptions surrounding mental health. According to our poll, men were more likely to conceal that they take medication for a mental disorder when compared to women. Men were also more likely to hide the being diagnosed with depression, anxiety, or another mental disorder.

Women, on the other hand, were more likely than men to keep a secret about a friend having an abortion. They’d also stay tight-lipped if someone they knew was diagnosed with an STD. Research indicates that women are more likely to compromise the truth (or even their moral integrity) in specific scenarios when defending someone else.

While a survey conducted by the Pew Research Center found members of the LGBTQ community believed Americans were more accepting of homosexuality today, they still felt somewhat discriminated against by society and their communities. According to our poll, men were more likely than women to never to tell anyone they were homosexual or bisexual.

The Degree of Discretion

Our survey also found Americans with various levels of education had different opinions on the secrets they should and shouldn’t share. Research has found that keeping secrets can manifest as a physical burden in some cases, and even the thought of holding in the truth can cause emotional distress for some people. According to our survey, people without a four-year college degree were more comfortable sharing the truth of being convicted of a crime or using hard drugs compared to those with a bachelor’s degree or higher.

Americans with a bachelor’s degree or higher were also more likely to keep the secrets of the people around them. When asked about a friend who had an abortion or a sexual encounter with a friend’s sibling, participants without these degrees were less inclined to keep the secret compared to those with higher levels of completed education.

They’ll Never Tell

Whether it’s true or not – even the former director of the CIA thinks millennials struggle to keep secrets compared to older generations (at least when it comes to classified information). Our survey found varying degrees in which millennials, Gen Xers, and baby boomers spilled the beans.

When it came to infidelity, millennials were the least likely generation to keep it a secret – whether they knew a friend who was cheated on, had done the cheating, or they themselves committed adultery.

Secrets millennials believed they could keep better than anyone else? Hitting a parked car and causing major damage, or even accidentally killing someone.

Partisan Privacy

Democrats were more likely to keep a secret when the subject was someone else, whereas those who were Republicans more heavily indicated they’d never tell when the secret was about themselves.

One of the biggest discrepancies between Democrats and Republicans was about sexual orientation. While Democrats ranked the likelihood of not divulging being homosexual or bisexual a 2.3 on our scale, Republicans ranked it a full point higher, on average. Republicans also were more likely to hide if their sexual desires were unusual, if they were diagnosed with an STD, or if they used marijuana.

When asked about an acquaintance diagnosed with an STD or having an abortion, Democrats were less likely to share that secret with other people compared to Republicans.

Easy Options

Regardless of the circumstances or intentions, everyone lies – some people even lie a lot. Studies have shown that the more you distort the truth, the harder it can become to break the habit of telling little white lies regularly. Our survey found most Americans even believed it was OK to lie sometimes, and many admitted to hiding the truth from their significant other.

While we may not be able to protect you from the secrets people keep, we do know a thing or two about home security. At GetSafe, it should be easy to feel safe in your own home. By combining our 24/7 monitoring services with the convenience of the devices you use regularly, we’ve merged the best of both worlds. With flexible pricing and an easy-to-use app, you won’t have to think twice about protecting what matters most to you. Visit us online at GetSafe.com to learn more.


We surveyed over 1,000 Americans about the hypothetical secrets they would be most and least likely to keep to themselves.

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You don’t have to keep our content a secret; feel free to share it for noncommercial purposes! All we ask is that you link your readers back to this page, so they can learn more about our study.

Bystander Backlash

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It’s the middle of the week, and you’re shopping for groceries. As you’re pushing your cart through the aisles and minding your own business, you see a mother screaming at her toddler, a man violently shaking his wife, or a woman berating an elderly man. What do you do? Do you step in and say something? Tell the store manager? Call the police? Or do nothing?

At Bay Alarm Medical, we wondered how we might react to social injustice or an extreme situation. Are people prone to stepping in or staying out of things? When we see something that looks dangerous, what do we do? And how bad does it have to get before we take action?

We asked over 2,000 people just that. Here’s what we learned.


what would you do if you witnessed an extreme situation or social injustice in public

What would you do if you witnessed an extreme situation or social injustice in public? According to our findings, 31 percent of survey respondents indicated they’d passively monitor the situation.Another 22 percent said they’d do nothing, 21 percent would call for help, and 21 percent claim they’d step in.

Women – a group that often reports feeling less safe than their male counterparts when engaging in everyday activities like walking down the street – were slightly more likely to passively monitor a situation, much more likely to call for help, and somewhat less likely to step in.


What would you do if you witnessed an extreme situation or social injustice in public

When we segmented our data by religion, we found that the group most likely to do nothing in the face of social injustice or an extreme situation were those who identified as Hindu. Respondents from this faith were over 30 percent more likely to do nothing than any other religious group. However, Hindus were also more likely – by roughly 30 percent – to take action and step in than any other group.

Agnostics were most likely the passively monitor a situation, followed by Jews, then Christian (Protestants). Hindus were the only group from which the majority of survey respondents said that they would step in. It may be that they understand what it’s like to be the victims of injustice.


What would you do if you witnessed an extreme situation or social injustice in public

When it comes to political leanings, the split isn’t as noticeable. Republicans are about 4 percent more likely to call for help, while Democrats were slightly more likely to passively monitor (31 percent) the situation or provide comfort (6 percent).


Which states would step in if they witnessed an extreme situation

When we looked at the data by state, we discovered that respondents from New Hampshire, Montana, Wyoming, Delaware, and Hawaii were more likely to step in when witnessing an extreme situation or social injustice.

On the other side of the spectrum, New Mexico, Nevada, Rhode Island, Mississippi, and Arkansashad the lowest percentage of respondents willing to step in. Three of these states rank among the most dangerous in the nation, and people may be afraid that their heroics could be met with violence.


Does the gender of an aggreser matter to bystanders?

Americans react much differently when the aggressor is a man versus a woman – and this possibly may have something to do with the fact that men commit significantly more violent crimes than women and tend to be physically larger.

If we witness a man getting aggressive in public, we’re about 40 percent more likely to call the police or security and more than twice as likely to physically step in to stop the violence. With female aggressors, we’re most likely – by a large margin – to stay out of it but keep an eye out in case things escalate. We’re also twice as likely to stay out of it altogether, citing that it’s none of our business.


Do people get involved more if the victim is a human or a dog?

When we asked our survey takers what they would do if they witnessed violence against a person, the vast majority said they’d call the police or security (35 percent) or stay out of things but keep an eye out in case things escalated (28 percent). Would we do the same if it was a dog getting kicked, smacked, or otherwise assaulted?

The answer is yes – sort of. Respondents were still very likely to call security (28 percent) or stay out of it but keep an eye out in case it escalated (16 percent). But with a dog, people were also much more likely to step in themselves and tell the aggressor to stop (20 percent).


How would you react if you saw a police officer harassing a black person for no reason?

With the rise of the Black Lives Matter movement and the current press coverage of heartbreaking stories of innocent men shot with their hands up and a man detained by police for jogging at night, the U.S. is arguably more aware of racial injustice than ever before. What would we do if we saw it playing out right in front of us, though?

The scenario is this: You’re in the park when you witness a black person being harassed by police for seemingly no reason – what do you do?

Many of our survey respondents – about 60 percent – said they’d stay out of it. About 20 percent said it was none of their business, 21 percent indicated that the police must have a good reason for detaining that person, 13 percent admitted they’d stay out of it but would go home and contact the police, the media, or a law office, and 6 percent said they would try to forget it ever happened.

Finally, 24 percent said they’d film the encounter and reach out to the media or share it online.


It’s hard to say what we’d do in an extreme situation. If you witnessed harassment, violence, or an outright crime, what do you think you’d do?

If our survey is any indication, you’d probably care enough to keep an eye out, but would hold back until help arrived.

Of course, we hope you never have to find out. Which is why we’re dedicated to making the world a little bit safer – at least in your home – with Bay Alarm Medical affordable home monitoring. Because like our survey respondents, we think keeping an eye out is an important thing to do.


Keep your readers informed and safe by sharing our content for noncommercial purposes only. Please link back to our page to give proper credit to our authors when sharing our content. 


Which Famous Killer Would Kill You?

Which Famous Killer Would Kill You?

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They’re the scourge of society – psychopaths, sociopaths, or maybe just the next-door neighbor who was nice but a little quiet. They kill forvarious reasons– anger, financial gain, or simply the thrill – and they carry out the grisly acts with guns, knives, hammers, axes, and even their bare hands. And once they’ve killed, some do unthinkable acts to their victims’ bodies: pose them, cut out their eyes, pickle them, and even make their flesh into sausage.

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